My Dilema

Those who come to know me for a length of time eventually find out that I am in constant idealogical struggle with the rationality and common sense of my brain, and the unadulterated emotion, and fervor of my heart. That being said, I can apply this concept to an issue I find very relevant to the readings.
It does not surprise me that today's society in virtually overrun with surveillance, voyeurism and control. It also does not surprise me that it somehow stems from the "invisible hand" of the market. It seems to me that the primary motivators for a lot of societal ills happen to be money, control, fear, or an amalgamation of all three. I digress. As I contemplate my own stance on the issue of surveillance and control, I find myself unfortunately torn. As of yet I have been unable to label my mental state as one of youthful apathy, hegemonic consent, both or neither.
At face value I am opposed to the overuse and abuse of state sponsored surveillance. I privacy to be a necessary human need and right. As I listen to stories of the government possessing the legal right to tap phones, trace e-mails, utilize hidden cameras etc. I am generally taken aback (yes I am opposed to the Patriot Act.) However, there is another part of this issue with which I have had a tumultuous struggle: It's very hard for me to care. As I think about my role in the world I think about the common sense that I try and take with me with whatever I do. And, with that in mind I start to wonder why it is that I would worry that anyone is constantly watching me. Yes the idea of anyone standing right behind me observing everyone of my actions is simultaneously disgusting and unnerving. But for some reason, the idea that the staff of my local police department might know that I frequent coffee shops, and happen to enjoy the missionary position doesn't bother me much. After all....It's not as if I'm calling Afghanistan on a daily basis, or sending subliminally malicious messages to authority figures.
My heart tells me that I should be more opposed to control than I already am. If anybody wants to help me shatter my delusion I would be most appreciative.